"Recipes don’t work unless you use your heart! “ – Dylan Jones
First post. I want to start it with a story:
Your are happily driving your small cute, blue car. First day of summer, the air is fresh and bright, far away you can see the shore, with lots of different shades of browns, blues and few clouds. People are walking in the streets, with happy outfits, eating their first ice-creams.
The best life, the best day, the best moment.
Until the second when a massive truck destroys your car, projects you over the other side and you smash on a wall, becoming the very first metallic smoothie. You go in a coma, and wake up 8 months later.
Still in your bed, you ask your self what happened, why are you there. They explain you what you went through, with much of a despair you thank the universal harmony that you are still alive. You ask the nurse to help you stand up and then you see it… You see the reflection of your face in the mirror not too far away.
You can’t help it but scream, from the top of you voice.
Who the heck is that face staring back at me?
That is not me.
The doctor now mentions the fact that your face got smashed, and they had to do a total face transplant.
Your mind can’t think of anything else but that you will be forever trapped in a representation of yourself that doesn’t belong to you, as much as that plant on the window seal is not a chocolate cookie.
From that day on, you is not you, YOU that everyone sees, is not the YOU that you see. Every desperate day, when you are still asleep and go to the bathroom to wash THE face, cause you can’t call it yours, a panic attack emerges. With time you kinda get ok with it, but still, still deep that immense feeling of not belonging, of not being what your truly are. Worse, you witness a slight move on people’s opinion, as they SEE you are looking different, they treat you differently. At one point you just look crazy at their eyes by telling them that what they see is not the real you.
Then one day, someone comes to you and tells you that you can have your true self back, but you will need to fight society that now believes YOU is what they see, you need to fight pain -emotional and physical. Would you do it?
No matter the pain, you would, I know you would try your best to get your true self back.
Well, this is what I perceive someone who belongs to Transgender* community (* I will refer to #transgender as an umbrella term, for further reading on the subject: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender) has to go through.
Even if I am not part of it, I can totally try to feel what it means. An excruciating pain of fighting to become who they really are, how they really see themselves; fighting against people calling them monsters, abomination, face religious fanatics claiming the rule of a notcaringgod that made you that way and you better stick with it because otherwise it means you are unnatural (Are we SERIOUS? UNNATURAL!).
But no, these beautiful butterflies they do not stop, they fight, they fight, they fight some more until they reach what they always saw in the mirror. Some got stabbed, strangled, raped, shot to death, expelled from school, fired from work just because they were and are trying to achieve what truly belongs to them: 1988 – Venus Xtravaganza Carla Leigh Salazar Brandon Teena Rita Hester Christine Chappel Amanda Milan Loni Kai Gwen Araujo Nizah Morris Nireah Johnson Shelby Tracy Tom Angie Zapata Lateisha “Tiesh” Green Sonia Burgess Stacey Blahnik Victoria Carmen White Marcal Camero Tye Dee Dee Pierson Crain Cornaway Deoni Jones Agnés Torres Hernández Coko Williams Tyrell Jackson Paige Clay Brandy Martell Lorena Extravaganza Tracey Johnson Tiffany Gooden Deja Johnson Kendall Hampton Kyra “Cruz” Cordova January Marie Lapuz Rene “Rosita” Hidalgo Hernandez Evon Young Cernia “Ce Ce” Dove Kelly Young Ashley Sinclair Islan Nettles Dominique Newburn Eyricka Morgan Jessica Vargas Bringas, aka José Manuel Vargas Bringas Melony Smith Betty Skinner, Brittany-Nicole Kidd-Stergis Dwayne Jones Mayang Prasetyo Çağla Joker Cingene Gül Keeta Bakhsh Mahadevi Rosa Rebut Yaz’min Shancez Kandy Hall Zoraida Reyes Tiffany Edwards Mia Henderson Alejandra Leos, Aniya Parker Shelley Hilliard Ashley (Michelle) Sherman Breana “Gizzy” Fowler Deshawnda Sanchez Jennifer Laude Mary Jo Añonuevo Marcela Duque Yoshi Tsuchida Papi Edwards Lamia Beard Ty Underwood Yazmin Vash Payne Taja DeJesus Penny Proud Bri Golec Kristina Gomez Reinwald Keyshia Blige Vanessa Santillan London Chanel Mercedes Williamson India Clarke, Amber Monroe Kandis Capri Elisha Walker Tamara Dominguez Kiesha Jenkins Zella Ziona Fernanda “Coty” Olmos Marcela Estefania Chocobar Amancay Diana Sacayán Alisha Hande Kader Tara Barbie Ann Reilly Nadine Stransen Niurkeli William Lound Lorena F. Zaratevilcas Monica Pineda Rivera Paulett Gonzalez Monica Loera Jasmine Sierra Kayden Clarke Veronica Banks Cano Maya Young Demarkis Stansberry Kedarie/Kandicee Johnson Kourtney Yochum Shante Thompson Keyonna Blakeney Reese Walker Mercedes Successful Amos Beede “Goddess” Diamond Deeniqua Dodds Dee Whigham Erykah/Erika Tijerina Rae’Lynn Thomas T.T. Saffore Crystal Edmonds Jazz Alford Brandi Bledsoe Sierra/Simon Bush Noony Norwood Nathallya Figueiredo Bié, aka Bianca Abravanel T.E. de M. Geremias Paula Jessica Mendes Cavalcanti Luana Biersack Leticia B. da Silva 2016 – Andinho List of unlawfully killed transgender people
This post is dedicated to them, to you, to all those on this intense journey: Thanks for teaching me the power of being, to restless fight for my rights, to emerge and fly. Let’s create together a better society, where none needs to fear to be killed, abused, excluded by working on becoming the butterfly they really are, let’s stop this.
With #love 💙, Andy