It all started with a cake, when the ideology of one individual proclaimed the reality of others irrational. (HERE) I don't know what to think. Yes, the baker had to be respected too, but the decision now it's sparking so much hate. (HERE) I'm confused, annoyed, frustrated. While the #queer #community is currently into celebrating season, I'm worried of the future and what I can do to avoid the worst case scenario. My friends are getting tired of me talking about queer rights and queer #empowerment, I appear to be a broken disk. I don't care, I'll die repeating and working towards the same things if that means allowing, kids and those coming after me, to enjoy their #freedom and not going through what I went through. If it takes ONE judge to open a can of worms and everyone goes back to crazy Joes, then it proves how "all the rights" we received (merely the acknowledgment of our existence) are just a sentence on a piece of paper held in some court. If it takes ONE judge to invigorate hate, it proves that society has a long way to go; that so far, "all the rights" we received were proportional to how passable we are in the hetero-society a widely white male dominated society. We are still far away from the day when there won't be anymore US VS THEM, and till that day comes you'll see me, and those after me, protesting and being visible. Why do I fight for #visibility? Cause I don't want to be assimilated in a society that doesn't want me unless I look like them. I want to be part of the fighters and founders of a society where you can be you, and I can be myself, and no one has to pretend to be someone else. Is that possible? Probably not, cause there will be bakers even then. We live in a extremely connected world where anything that becomes public, becomes political. So, I wonder if the State should have been taking a stand in the first place. Would have been different if the judge said: "You people solve this case internally as the State is not going to interfere". How would you have solved this case, respecting the rights to existing on both parties? As I said, it's stressful, daunting and scary. This fear if not rationalised can consume you in shame and guilt. Being vocal about my identity allows me to regularly connect with all sort of people that, either or not, celebrate themselves. This is a conversation I had this week.
No, he is not crazy and no this is not unusual. This is the plain constant state we face. As I said, when you live in a world where it looks that you are integrated but deep rooted there's hate and it takes nothing to bring it up, living your truth becomes complicated almost impossible.
Some statistics that highlight the reality of the issue include: (from here)
The Gay Men’s Health Survey (2013) found that in the last year, 3% of gay men have attempted to take their own life. This increases to 5% of black and #minority ethnic men, 5% of bisexual men and 7% of #gay and #bisexual men with a disability. In the same period, 0.4% of all men attempted to take their own life
The Trans Mental Health Study (2012) found that 11% of trans people had thought about ending their lives at some point in the last year and 33% had attempted to take their life more than once in their lifetime, 3% attempting suicide more than 10 times.
It's easily said: "Just don't mind the haters" when you first of all don't feel threatened. I do mind the hate and so should you. You can't fight an enemy if you don't mind it's there. Hate spreads across realities and it empowers #rejection, violence and abuse. What I would like you to realise is that my #fight, benefits yours too. Building a society with deep rooted respect will mean that you get to live in it and be embraced. What can we do about it? If you care, than be clear. Ask yourself: when I see abuse, do I just turn the other way? Do I pretend it's not there? Do I say to those who are involved: "Don't mind them"? Or do I make my position clear, inform, speak up, stand and in some cases fight? Do I realise that an ignored abuse leads to disastrous consequences even for me? It's scary, we don't want to face the crowd. You make your choice, I can't judge you but I'm definitely going to be grateful if you stand next to me. By the way, fuck cakes, I always believed cakes were evil.
With love 💙,